In August 2023, Joel and I made the choice to participate in a grief retreat tailored for parents who have lost children to cancer before the age of 21. Uncertain of what to expect, we understood the importance of connecting with others who shared our experiences in battling cancer. We sought a supportive environment where discussing our daughter Bianca was not awkward, and where terms like Ativan, Methotrexate, and Zofran were familiar. Our lives had been irrevocably altered, and we did not want to face this new reality alone.
We discovered the Southwest Hope and Healing Retreat through the Facebook group Bereaved Parents of Childhood Cancer. The retreat, held at Tanque Verde Ranch in Tucson, Arizona from August 11th to the 13th, provided a platform for us to remember and speak about our children, engage with grief counselors, and participate in activities like paint night for mothers, ax throwing for fathers, and horseback riding. Families were encouraged to attend, with activities arranged for surviving children as well.
By the end of the retreat, we had formed connections and friendships with fellow bereaved parents, sharing stories of our children and struggles. While we lamented the circumstances that brought us together, we found solace in our shared experiences. However, returning home proved to be challenging, leaving us feeling drained, heavy-hearted, and overwhelmed by grief and anger at the injustices faced by our families and children.
Despite the emotional toll, Joel and I ultimately valued our decision to attend the retreat. We forged meaningful friendships that endure to this day, providing mutual support as we navigate life without our children. We acknowledge that our reality is marked by unfairness and sorrow, but we also recognize that this is the truth we must confront, even if we cannot fully accept it.
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